"Trying to Move On"

 "Trying to Move On"

    I've been feeling under the weather. It's been weeks since my heart was broken, and my chest hurts than it did before. I was moved by my emotions that made things worse for myself, well that is what I think what happened, that made this emotion and relation to become nothing. I genuinely love a person, that is what I really think, and I care about her. 

    Now, I know now and convinced that I don't really have any luck in life. I don't have any luck on everything. I feel like my whole has been a series of unfortunate event that even I fight this fate of mine, everything will fall down and crumble to pieces if not just failed.

    I hate to see things in a negative way, but life just made things easier for me to realize that I don't have anyone or anything in my life. It taken away my fathers' life, my mother's care for me, the way my sisters treat me. All have been becoming negative to me, and I don't know how to handle things anymore with overwhelming emotions with a broken heart. I don't know where I need to belong anymore. I developed heavy breath after being heart broken and it's hard to maintain the sanity that I need to show to people that "I am fine", even though I'm not.

    I feel lost and don't know what to do anymore but I still keep on going despite the heavy thing that I carry. I feel burden and want to let things go but I'm a man, I need to suck it up and rot in the inside.